On Golf.

I could not imagine marrying some of my favorite things in a more cohesive way then the sport of golf.  Let’s analyze some of the components of the sport, develop an appreciation for the aesthetic, and take an analytic approach to the game.  Said game is played outdoors, always, and the molding hands of Mother Nature herself shape the experience.  The recurrent iterations of nature mark the first dynamic aspect of the structure of the game that lends itself so beautifully to those who appreciate God’s green earth.  Basking in the sun is a creature comfort, and none more comfortable then the warm embrace on the back of your neck as you watch your playing partner drive the little white sphere into the blue expanse.  This is only rivaled by the blood tingling exhilaration of staring into the infinite expanse of blue sky as you pose after a perfect demonstration of your golf swing unfurled.  Sometimes you are challenged by the crippling humidity and struggle to maintain your mental composure during the grueling marathon of eighteen holes.  Other times you are forced to squint through the shifted tracers of rain as they fall across your visual landscape. 

Appreciating the sport of golf begins with the humble acceptance of your relevance in nature, and the triumphant feeling comes from knowing that you can be a formidable warrior who used the elements as tools rather then distractions.  Be weary before you approach that first tee box; it is not a right to embark on the journey through the next 18 holes, it is a privilege, one that demands a deep understanding of oneself and ones capabilities.  Do not blame the elements or the game for your lack of appreciation.  Remember, like an ignorant child blameless in his frustration yet unwarranted in his criticism, “This doesn’t make sense!” It, golf, makes sense; it, those elusive two letters are accessible only to those who search it out gracefully.

Up to fourteen tools in the bag for which to capitalize.  14 clubs x 3 discrete different shot shapes x 3 discrete different trajectories and the infinite range between.  These are the options for which your wrist flicks can create a round.  Your scorecard is a mere tally.  Every shot, hole, front 9, full round are an opportunity.  This all proves daunting; golf should not be digested in its totality.  Rather each morsel of experiences should constitute a part and the whole, pun intended.  The skilled performer can hone in on each swing.  Only after rapidly calculating the appropriate shot needed.  Each instantiation requires full and unwavering attention.  Upon completion, a quick pro forma invoice begs to be submitted for processing; were my lines good, how was my weight, did I keep my head down?  I suggest that these line items are what is keeping you from transcending from benevolent pot bellied participant to weekend warrior acclaim.

First, pass me a beer. 

The crack of the can [always use cans, after a few too many if you drop them they cannot litter the golf course with reflecting shards of which are Rubber Tire’s most antagonistic of enemies] signifies this as a time of fun.  Balance is the answer to any moral quandary; beer is the answer to any beverage imposition on the golf course.  Where vices are welcomed, communally indulged, where sport meets recreation, the golf course is where you come to enjoy uninterrupted hours of enjoyable experience. 

Is it better to have 1,xxx,xxx songs to flip through on your ipod, is a newspaper just a tangible annoyance for who’s value can be provided seamlessly on your ipad?  Sure.  Did ‘song ADD’ exist before ipods?  Do you have trouble finishing on article on the computer due to the omniscient distractions?  Golf forces busy individuals to hunker down and enjoy the marathon of social interaction.  Can you enjoy the sport on your own, yes, but you are never alone.  You are willfully detached from the nearest router and with this come great responsibility.  You and your playing partners imitate intimacy in a unique relationship.  If they are strangers, they can be tools for self-reflexivity, if they are your best friends they can be cheerleaders, hecklers, coaches, psychoanalysts, glorified cup holders and everything in between.   

The narrative of a round of golf is not dissimilar to life.  You must know when to accept the current predicament, trust the future blight is less bleak, determine which of the medicines are more tasteful medicine, grimace, gulp, and go.  The peaks of elation, the valleys of frustration; life is not a game – but golf most definitely is.  No one swings the exact same way.  No one plays the exact same shot, ever.   These analogies I’ll allow you to fill in.

I realize I’ve been writing about golf for too long, plus my pitching wedge has been staring at for the last 15 minutes.